Thursday, July 23, 2015

Dream Big

I've always been a free spirit.  Something inside of me wants to do all the things.  I have a want....a need to discover, to learn, to experience and create.  I can never quite put my finger on what it is I long to do with myself that is going to be profound, that will leave a lasting impression.  That will let my spirit soar.

I want to drive, endlessly.  A road trip to nowhere and everywhere.  To see all the places and landscapes.  To drive west toward the sunset.  To soak up the last glimmer over the mountains as the sun descends.  I don't want an agenda.  I want to dabble at roadside diners with my girl, drink a strong pot of coffee and blast music with the car windows down.  I want to laugh and smile and laugh some more.  I want to visit Portland and Seattle.  I want to see the Redwoods.  I want to see the mountains.  I want to surf and hike on the PCT.  I want to walk on the beach and collect all the sea glass in my pockets.  I want to watch the sun set over the water and breathe in the salty air of the sea.  I want to go to outdoor concerts and listen to good music in the company of good people.  I want to dance and bob my head to the tunes.  I want to feel the music in my bones.

I want to stay at a lake side cabin with a big front porch.  A rocking chair.  Where I can drink lemonade or iced tea and listen to the screen door slam shut.  I want to stare out over the lake in the morning and see the mist sleeping on top of the lake water.  I want to sit in a boat and read a book in the middle of the water in the late afternoon.  I want to jump off the boat for a swim.  I want to stay up late and drink bottles of wine over deep conversation.  I want to let my hair down and wear cut off jean shorts and flannel shirt.  No make up.  No hairspray.  Just raw me.  I want to ride a bike with a basket on the front, full of flowers that I've picked from a meadow down the lane.  I want to breathe country air and watch the fireflies dance.

I want to make art that makes me feel alive.  I want to capture my feelings on a piece of old barn wood.  I want to learn to sew better so I can make more than a pillow.  I want to write a book about my dad, about my life, about my feelings, about my journey.  I want my words to inspire someone, somehow.  I want to read other people's stories, no matter how how small or different they are from my own.  I want to see out of someone else's eyes.  Hear what they hear, and feel what they feel.

I want to visit the city.  New York City.  I want to sit in a busy coffee shop on the east coast in the middle of the blustering snow, sipping my coffee.  Holding the hand of my girl across the table from me.  I want to feel the warmth and the glow of the city lights on a cold winter night.  To walk hand and hand bundled up in stocking hats and boots.  Our mi
ttened hands combined.

I want to visit Greece.  To absorb another country.  To taste the food, see the sites.  Talk to the people.  Learn the culture.  I want to volunteer my time to the elderly, to the sick, to the poor, to the homeless, to the children without parents.  I want to do some kind of mission work, that gives me a sense of fullness.  I want to teach others.  I want to share my culture with others.  I want a sense of community.  I want to find a community.  I want to make a community.

I want to make amends.  To learn to forgive.  To love unconditionally.  To cry openly.  To not be afraid to feel.  To not be afraid to ask.  I want to take a yoga class, learn to skateboard, dread my hair.  I want to visit a commune, plant a huge garden, make forever friends.

I want my story to be told--I want to live my life doing the things I long to do.  I want to live my life to the fullest.  No regrets.
Life is short.
Dream Big.
Die Happy